End of my academic life

Yesterday marked the last day of my academic life. I just had my last class at Andrew, where I also had my first class in the university. It was slowly sinking in that my time in the university is about to run out. My last class, ENVISOC, ended with a manifesto delivered by our professor. It wasn't a synthesis of what we've learned, but a plea to use what we've learned to help the environment.

Why do I feel this way?

maybe I'm scared of what will happen after college? maybe I'm not satisfied with what I've learned so far? I mean I dunno, to stop studying after 17 years.. that's some transition. I guess other people don't find it difficult because they've already set their minds for an office setting, which I think is similar to a classroom setting (minus the learning from the mentor part). I guess it'll be more like projects and homework everyday. I know that I'm not following that track in life anyway, so why do I feel this way? I think its because of the time I went on LOA. I think that I'm scared that the same thing will happen to me..the idleness is unbearable. However, I'm gonna continue with trapeze. At least that's something to look forward to.

Although this transition may be scary for me, I believe that it is necessary. I know that learning never ends, but I don't want to stay in college forever. hopefully, I can get that research assistant job and maybe that would make things easier for me.

Also, I realized that one of my thesismates won't be graduating with us since he forgot to take a subject -__- (Persef3).

COUNTDOWN TO THE LAST DAY

I'm down to my last few weeks in college.I just.. don't know what to do with my life. I mean, I've got a plan in my head, but is it the right one? Is it the one that's going to make me happy? I've got my goal on Trapeze already and now with opportunities like being a research assistant popping up, it just make me more unsure of my decisions.

I've always believed that if something makes you happy, there's no reason not to pursue it. So why am I feeling this way?

I'm scared of leaving the security of the University. Which is weird, because I've been working already and I haven't even graduated yet. Maybe I do have a passion for learning? I mean, the time I was on LOA is one of the worst times of my life. But my grades prove otherwise. I'm a slow learner, I admit. But I do love learning new things.

Things are going so fast for me. I want to graduate already, but.. I feel like I'm not ready just yet.. I'm not saying that I want to extend my stay in the University, I just feel that it's going to be hard for me when I do.


Playlist:
Tadhana - Up Dharma Down
Medicine - The 1975
Even in dreams - The Pains of Being Pure at Heart