Giving up

This uncertainty.
I used to be accustomed to it.
I learned to.
But now it's making me want to give up.
Not that it scares me,
but I think it's because I don't have aspirations anymore.
Did I have one in the first place?
I dunno.

I don't know how to describe what I'm in right now,
but the closest word I can get is "Hopeless"
I don't see the new day as something to look forward to
It's just another day
At the end of each day,
I end up evaluating
I've done some things during the day
but they're nothing that makes me exceptionally happy
I don't think I've been genuinely happy recently
I feel like I've changed, as a person
I've become, sadder
Not that I cry every night,
but that I'm not enthusiastic anymore
I feel it

but I still find myself sharing funny shit on facebook
Some videos make me laugh
but not happy
I think there's a difference
When was I happy about something?
What am I looking forward to?

One thing I liked about uncertainty was that even though you can never really expect anything,
50% of the outcome can make you happy
It's either happy or sad
And at this point,
I don't think anything happy is coming my way
I might as well die or something