40 days

The 40th day since our lola's passing.
We should be having a mass and inviting relatives over.
I wouldn't be surprised if tita or karlo won't show up.
It's horrible how they act as if they're concerned but then they actually aren't.
or at least not enough.
I mean out of all the people, Karlo should have been the one who is affected by it the most since he is the one who practically lives there with her.

But no.
She was just an old woman to him.
You might say that I'm assuming things and that I'm just letting my hatred towards him cloud my thoughts.
But no.
Actions speak louder than words.
He knew that lola didn't have much to eat a week before she started losing strength
Because he was the one in charge of giving money to ate linda to buy lola's food.
He knew about the adaptor of the aircon
Lola was having a hard time during the hot afternoons and the stuffy nights.
But all they were thinking about was the electricity bill.
And then suddenly lola gets aircon 24/7 when she couldn't talk anymore?

They are full of crap
Tita would say that "if it's your time, it's your time"
You wanna know why I hate that line?
It's because it isn't the first time I heard it from her
I heard it back in 2011, when she first got hospitalized.
And then after that, and then another.
It was as if she just wanted her gone.
She wanted to just pacify the pain by giving her painkillers so she would shut up.
Karlo would say "Just rest na lola"
I hate it for the same reason
It wasn't the first time I heard it from him
Like mother like son I guess

Ate lea told camile that we should be together closer than ever now, as cousins, now that lola is gone.
But I refuse.
I can be civil with karlo
But I will never reach out to him
ever
the very reason why I started hating on him is because he wasn't feeding lola with proper food
The nerve of the asshole to feed lola fast food
an old lady with fast food
when she fed him with so much more
The money isn't even his in the first place
it's lolas
so why the fuck is he skimping on her?
Dumb shit
I can't deal with people like that
How could he treat the person who basically kept him alive, like that?
Without her, he would be on the streets
He's a nobody
Nothing wrong with being unemployed
but he's a fucking asshole
He made my lola suffer
And I couldn't do anything to save her from him