Why Satan wanted Adam and Eve to eat that apple

It's 2 am, and I can't sleep. Coffee is downstairs and I'm too scared to check up on him because he might be dead. I'll admit, the last time I saw him, he wasn't in good condition. We brought him to the vet, and they told us that if he can survive 24-48 hours, most likely he'll survive.

When Danielle and I brought down meds for Coffee, I was glad to see him wagging his tail, but his eyes were blood shot red and his poop was black. I'm no vet, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't a good indicator that he was getting any better.

I know he's not gonna make it.
It sucks that I know that.
It hurts, knowing that something will happen whether you like it or not.
And you can't do anything about it.

I wish that when I wake up tomorrow morning, I forget to check if he's still there.
Or when I go home, I don't want to remember that he's the first one to greet me after a long day.
I wish that I could forget that at one point in my life, he made me happy.

Knowing hurts.
It is both a gift and a burden to know.
Which makes me think that the less you know, the happier you'll be. Why so? because life is cruel, harsh, evil, and everything nice is just our way of compensating or keeping ourselves sane.

I could be a little more hopeful.
Maybe he'll make it.
But still, these early morning thoughts will continue to torment me in my sleep.


*For the record, I hate making bible references. This is an exemption because it was the first thing that came into my mind*

time travel

November 7, 2014

My hands finally opened up yesterday. I kept swinging yesterday and it was also my first time getting a return bar. 

Its been a while since I posted because Trapeze and school work has been eating up most of my time. I hardly have time to condition myself at home or use my time to leisure on some projects, heck I don't even have time to go out with my friends (who aren't from the same school). It came to a point that one of my friends told me that I'm getting too busy and that I should spend time with my friends while I still can, because I won't be able to have such luxury when I start working already.


This made me think, am I getting myself so busy that I don't get to enjoy what's happening now? Well, I enjoy doing Trapeze, and I honestly want to do well in school especially in my thesis so, why am I doubting? I'm probably just scared that in the future, I'll regret what I haven't done in the past (like hanging out with my friends more often). 

Is it poor time management? or messed up priorities? I think that I shouldn't expect much from the future because we can never really tell what will happen, I mean, I didn't expect dragon boat or Trapeze to get into my life. But then again, I shouldn't be too lax that I just go with the flow, I should at least have some direction in life. And in that direction, I could be led to another road. But still, I'm scared.