I wasn't ready

Today, I got into sleep paralysis during my siesta.
I already knew that it was about to happen,
so I let it happen.
When the girl showed herself,
I wasn't scared.
I thought to myself that I'm ready
ready to give up.
So as I lay there doing nothing

I could see the room.
my right eye was already shut,
and the left was about to
but when it was getting smaller and smaller
I suddenly started fighting it
suddenly, I got scared of what I got myself into
I thought to myself that I don't know the gravity of what I'm doing
So until I'm sure of what I want,
I decided to fight it
it wasn't easy.
the girl was laughing at my effort
I could see her through my right eye
I kept fighting
it became harder and harder
at one point I was able to open both eyes
but I couldn't speak even though I tried with much effort
my right eye shut again
It was getting more difficult
I went all out and decided to focus on the girl and try to destroy her
fortunately or not, I woke up.